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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26525422">The Shadow of Karasuno</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account'>orphan_account</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Character Death, Hinata Shouyou &amp; Kageyama Tobio Friendship, Kageyama Tobio-centric, Sad Kageyama Tobio, Suicide</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 04:55:44</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,868</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26525422</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Kageyama Tobio had enough of the world and left it behind. </p><p>But he didn't think of the people he was leaving and how the futures of those affected by his death were going to change, especially for his best friend, Hinata Shouyou.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hinata Shouyou &amp; Kageyama Tobio, Kageyama Tobio &amp; Karasuno Volleyball Club</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>219</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Goodbye Shadow</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kageyama Tobio was a jealous boy. And it's not like he wanted to be, but it happens. He was jealous of Hinata. Of his best friend. Because he has things Kageyama could never have. Hinata has the entire world that adores him.</p><p>While Kageyama merely has the shadows clinging to his back. The never-ending darkness that prospers each day when Hinata’s light imprisons him. </p><p>And each time his friend enters the gym, heads turn to face him. Eyes watched Hinata as if he was a precious jewel on display to be admired. He was the sun that generated the flowers to life. Karasuno was nothing without Hinata light. But sometimes Kageyama wishes for a little less glow because there's nothing wrong with a little darkness. He yearns for the others to need his shadow to keep from burning in the sun. Yet, he stood unaccompanied, as the sole person who loves the shadows.</p><p>Kageyama Tobio was a jealous boy. </p><p>Because in the end, no one would ever need him. Or the shadow he creates. </p><p>And yet, Kageyama doesn’t try to change; he just stands on the sidelines, far from any interaction. He gazes as the crowd sees their sun and showers him with affection. But the Setter was everything but bitter. He was envious but had never shown hatred for the redhead. Because Kageyama would never feel the need to hate Hinata, the smaller teen had worked hard to earn his spot. Not once had Hinata stopped working hard. </p><p>If Kageyama could choose, then he'll say that he's proud of what Hinata accomplished.</p><p>But sometimes, he wants his team's attention. Was that too much to ask?</p><p>He often has one question that never ceases echoing in his mind; it happens as he discovers that even Tsukishima and Yamaguchi get pampered; he just has one innocent question.</p><p>What about me?</p><p>Whenever Hinata was hurt, their teammates would surround him. All would fuss over him. Whenever Tsukishima doubts himself, their teammates would praise him. Whenever Yamaguchi was sad, their teammates would treat him with care.</p><p>But when Kageyama gets hurt, he gets a pat to the back. As if that would heal the unbearable pain he tried to conceal. When he doubts himself, which is often, Sugawara would say something about he doesn't need to challenge himself. As if that would make him feel better. When he was sad, no one would notice. He even cried once, but Tsukishima made a comment that caused his tears to cease. And yet, none thought much of it, all believing Kageyama could handle things on his own.</p><p>Well, he can't.</p><p>He wasn't always alone; Kageyama had Kazuyo-san and Miwa. He occasionally had his parents with him too. But after his grandfather death, everything in Kageyama's small perfect world shattered. It started with his old teammates, then his busy parents, and lastly, his only big sister.</p><p>But Hinata didn't have that problem. He often spoke of his father, who was a fireman. Of his mother, who always greets him when Hinata goes home. Of his little sister, who simply adores her brother.</p><p>Kageyama doesn't have that; he doesn't have anything. So why is he still trying? Why is he always moving? Why is that even volleyball seems like a burden he's carrying alone?</p><p>In the end, the shadow he carries around grows. The more he felt jealous of others, the more the darkness drowned him. </p><p>He is the shadow. Unnoticeable and unwanted. </p><p>It's to the point that all he wanted was to scream. He can't do this anymore; he doesn't want to deal with this anxiety creeping underneath his skin. He refuses to deal with this; if Kageyama doesn't put a stop to this, then he's going to explode. </p><p>So this is how Kageyama Tobio, brilliant Setter of Karasuno, finds himself on top of the old bridge near his house. It's abandoned mostly, except for the few joggers who pass by. But at least no one would interrupt him or else they might change his mind. And he doesn't want that. Not when he's near to the freedom he is seeking.</p><p>Taking a look down, Kageyama felt his stomach drop. This apprehensive sensation washes over him as he sways around. Swallowing a lump in his throat, he shifts his quivering body forward. While taking a deep breath, Kageyama willed his left foot to move from the ledge. He was hesitant, as he felt his body tense up and stood in place. </p><p>Nevertheless, he finally faults his protesting body, he was about to end his reign of being the shadow of Karasuno.</p><p>Spreading his long arms, imagining he has a pair of wings, the boy tilts backward. Wind rustles through his hair and clothes as he continues to fall. But even then, the pressure from his chest didn't go away; anxiety and fear cling to him. Voices mixed, some telling him to end it already, while others say this was a mistake. But it was already too late. Kageyama’s feet left the ledge, his body tugged by gravity, and the eternal whistles of the wind rushed through his ears.</p><p><em> Ah, the sky is so blue</em>. Kageyama thought as he saw nothing but the endless sky. It was bluer than his dark eyes. It was so pretty and was a perfect last image he'll ever see.</p><p>Kageyama closes his eyes, accepting his fate. </p><p>And he falls, like a leaf in autumn. He falls, ever-so-slowly from his home. He willingly left his place upon the tree. He gracefully got pulled by gravity, with nothing but the blue sky to stay as his company. He smiles, which was foreign to him. Until Kageyama Tobio, brilliant Setter of Karasuno, met his end at the bottom of the concrete.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Hello The Sun</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I was planning on making more chapters, but I didn't know how to continue this story. So I gave up and left it like this.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hinata Shouyou was a lost man. He couldn't grasp the locks inside his heart to set his emotions free. The smiles and freedom he had shattered. And he wonders why it turned out like this. Or precisely, why it came to this. Hinata wasn't supposed to lose the light he had. But what's the meaning of the light without its shadow?</p><p>That's right, Hinata's bright light dimmed the day he found out about Kageyama’s death.</p><p>After hearing the news from Takeda-Sensei, the poor boy shut down. Everyone around him mirrored his horrified expression. Resentment fills Daichi, Tanaka, Nishinoya, and Ennoshita for not having the power to understand Kageyama’s pain. Agony fills Sugawara, Kiyoko, Narita, Kinoshita, and Asahi for not nurturing Kageyama from his pain. Self-guilt serves Yamaguchi, Tsukishima, and Yachi for being so close yet never done anything about Kageyama’s problem.</p><p>But it was Hinata who took the news the hardest. </p><p>He wakes up every morning now, knowing that his best friend wasn't here. The ache in his chest accumulates until it leaves him numb. The beautiful blue sky he once found adoring was now so grey. The song he hears from birds sounds like a sad song. Laughter drowns out, and bright colors aren't dulled. Hinata couldn't even cry anymore. He couldn't do anything. </p><p>And he just lives his now dull life, miserably missing his best friend.</p><p>Hinata truly felt sorry for his parents and sister for acting like this and knowing that he's worrying them. Hinata knows that he isn't taking proper care of himself, with not eating nor sleeping enough. Hinata knows that the dark bag beneath his eyes was scaring Natsu. But he can't help any of it. He doesn't see the point of it. </p><p>Hinata was a lost man, wandering through the earth without Kageyama Tobio.</p><p>Deep down, Hinata knew that he had done a high cost of damage to his best friend. Hinata knew that he was the one to blame; Hinata knew that he killed Kageyama. </p><p>He killed Kageyama Tobio.</p><p>So what right did he have to live?</p><p>The redhead had taken everything for granted. He realizes that most things were handed to him. Sooner or later, Hinata always gets what he wants.</p><p>But not this time, he couldn't bring his friend back. He couldn't apologize for not being there for him. He couldn't tell Kageyama the things he needed to hear. Hinata Shouyou couldn't do anything, and it made he feels helpless. And maybe he has always been powerless, and never knew until now.</p><p>Everything is overbearing; his room, which had a picture of Karasuno, of Kageyama. His school, where he used to greet Kageyama. So when everything overwhelms him, he goes for walks.</p><p>” I'm pathetic, ” He mutters as he stuffs his cold hands in his pockets. </p><p><em> ~Yes, you are~ </em> the voices in his head agree.</p><p>And Hinata couldn't help nibbling his lower lip. He never had this problem, never had voices taunting everything he does. It was unbearable to deal with this. But Hinata probably deserves this mockery. </p><p>He deserves these voices that speak to him every day.</p><p>It was like a broken record; the words ” <em> I Killed Kageyama </em>” replayed. As if it was Disparaging him. Images of his best friend flash through his mind. Kageyama's pretty blue eyes were dull, skin ghostly white, clothes dyed crimson. He appears in dark corners, tormenting Hinata even in dreams. Everywhere he goes, Kageyama will be there, blaming him. And he couldn't even apologize to this Kageyama.</p><p>Just thinking about it makes Hinata shudder. </p><p>He hates this. Hinata hates himself.</p><p>And halting, Hinata glances up at the sky. The reds and oranges weren't appealing to him. </p><p>The redhead stares until his eyes trail to the bridge beside him. The bridge that snatched Kageyama’s life. And he wanted to laugh at his feet for taking him here. But instead, he moves. He couldn’t stop himself from ambling toward the bridge. Hinata just couldn't stop.</p><p>Stepping foot upon the the old bridge, Hinata took a deep breath. He walks with uncertainty, but he still strode to the railing ahead. There was yellow tape surrounding the area, warning passersby to stay away, but what can tape do? It can’t stop Hinata from ripping it away nor prevent him from climbing over the railing. It was not that he wanted to die, no matter how dull his life felt, Hinata knew that Kageyama would never forgive him for killing himself. But he did want to feel how Kageyama felt, how much fear had been in the moment, how much pain he had to have the courage to push off the railing. He wanted to be in Kageyama’s shoes, to understand him even if it’s too late now.</p><p>Looking down, Hinata felt his stomach drop, his body shakes in fear, and cold sweat clings to his hair. </p><p>He could drop if let go. Hinata could end his life, just like Kageyama. All he needed to do was let go. </p><p>" I'm sorry Kageyama, I'll meet you soon." Hinata Sighs at the sky and step back. He was ready to walk away until something caught his attention. Turning around, Hinata watch as a crow landed on the rail of the bridge, staring straight at Hinata, as if telling him something before flying toward the sunset. And He felt tears prickling the corner of his eyes and for the first time in a while, Hinata smiles and wave at the crow.</p><p>" Bye, Kageyama!"</p>
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